What is confidence and self-esteem and how do you get it?
For me it’s about attitude and liking yourself enough to not care what other people think of trying to live up to other peoples expectations or social mores. It’s about feeling good in your body and dressing how you want and nurturing yourself on every level. I’m 60 now and very confident- Of course, I was not like this for a very long time.
How do you get to be confident? How do you get to like yourself? It can take a long time a lot of experiences and personal development to feel and act out that confidence. I mean here I am on Instagram parading around in bathers at my age. Now that takes confidence, maybe a slightly delusional attitude – ha. Some may say I should not be doing that but I don’t do it for them, I do it for myself and to show other women out there younger and older that you can still look good and feel good at any age. Of course, as well as attitude it’s about looking after yourself on many levels -with good nutrition, regular exercise a balanced life and you already know this. Another form of confidence, of course, is that you don’t care about how you look as you get older – that’s your decision and your call. We women should be supportive of however means we use to look and feel good. Of course, you may get bigger breasts to look good but you can still be that very shy under-confident person underneath, You really do need a big attitude to match your new bigger breasts. So much going on inside that head huh!
I was a very shy little girl believe it or not and I was bullied at primary school and secondary school and at home. I had no strategies at all to deal with the bullying and I was not safe at home as everyone was being bullied. I became a rebel and went on a very gritty path of self – destruction for too long where I put myself in danger a lot and mistreated my poor body with drugs and alcohol and made very bad decisions. This behaviour is such a typical reaction for so many people who experienced the same as me. The other reaction is to retreat to become socially phobic or develop really bad anxiety and illness.
I did not have a mentor someone on my side someone confident that I could learn from. I remember a girlfriend saying to me when I was around 22 that “I didn’t have to be like this – that I was actually a good person” That was the start of this little kernel of hope of turning my self – destruction and lack of self -esteem around. I think I gave myself permission to actually like myself. To look at my good qualities to soften up take it easy on myself stop trying to prove stuff that did not matter. I was craving connections, craving a sense of belonging all the time. I just did not know how to get them. You did not go to a psychologist – 30 years ago mental health was for those people living in the asylums and institutions. The go-to therapy was booze, sleeping pills or whatever you could get your hands on well for me anyhow or you slowly went insane or had a breakdown. You did not talk about it.
Then my next turning point in raising my self- esteem was when I had my first child and actually looked after myself in my pregnancy and actually was able to look after my baby without losing her or neglecting her sounds funny but I was worried I would do so many things wrong. When I look back I was a pretty good mum and all my children still talk to me ha. The third turning point in my improvement in self -esteem was after my second child I enrolled in an aerobics instructor course having never done aerobics before. I remember doing a letterbox drop around the neighbourhood with my little girls and when 23 women turned up for their first class and mine – I was overjoyed. So I went on and taught for 25 glorious years and it felt so good to help other women and men and children become fit. Those were the days of the leotard G-strings think Jane Fonda and leg warmers and I was able to measure my client’s confidence and self- esteem when they would come to class in the shiny leggings and g- string no matter how big their bum looked! Of course, I know now that exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good. We were not so aware in those days what regular exercise could do to your brain and the immediate benefits. As a mum, I started to eat better as I learned more about good food your kids should eat. My fourth enlightenment was when I left a bad marriage which although very hard on everyone including the kids was a liberating and necessary experience. Being accepted totally and loved by someone else which I was by my husband Jim 25 years ago only skyrocketed my confidence and self – esteem. The fifth elevation in my self- esteem was doing a Life Coaching course where I learned that it was my choice how I responded to people and situations and places, The sixth was becoming a Trainer and Assessor and helping long term unemployed get ready for work – a very humbling, challenging and satisfying experience. The seventh was enrolling in the Certificate 1V Clinical Hypnosis Course 5 years ago where I learned even more about the power of the mind and that you could change a habit a belief, behaviour or attitude that was holding you back from achieving a goal a way of life. It was magical to me that once willing and in a deep state of trance/ relaxation via suggestions that you could build a new concept of yourself as that confident, self-aware person brimming with newfound confidence and self- love and improved self-esteem.
I don’t want you to have to wait 30 years to get that confidence and self-esteem that you need. Hypnosis can be the vehicle the medium the method the strategy that you can utilise to finally be that confident happy self now.
Email Cathy for details of Improving Your Confidence and Self – Esteem with Hypnosis now – Live Video Hypnosis sessions available info HERE